Over the course of a lifetime we gather many things. Some of these are good for us, others are not so good. Some were good for us at one point in our journey but now they hold us back. Sorting what is helpful and nourishing from what is stifling and painful is not always easy. Sometimes it is our most closely gathered treasures which weigh us down the most.
It is a strange thing that we hold onto pain. But often it is because we do not know who or how we will be if we let it go. If you are brave enough, now, at this Aries new moon (April 12th, 3:21 GMT), is the time to find out.
“We stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything. In his eyes, there was no trace of what had happened between us earlier and I could feel something inside me break.
So that was that. We were finally, finally over.
I looked at him, and I felt so sad, because this thought occurred to me: ‘I will never look at you the same way again. I’ll never be that girl again. The girl who comes running back every time you push her away, the girl who loves you anyway.’
I couldn’t even be mad at him, because this was who he was. This was who he’d
always been. He’d never lied about that. He gave and then he took away. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, the familiar ache, that lost, regretful feeling only he could give me. I never wanted to feel it again. Never, ever.
Maybe this was why I came, so I could really know. So I could say good-bye.
I looked at him, and I thought, ‘If I was very brave or very honest, I would tell him.’
I would say it, so he would know it and I would know it, and I could never take it back. But I wasn’t that brave or honest, so all I did was look at him. And I think he knew anyway.
‘I release you. I evict you from my heart. Because if I don’t do it now, I never will.’
I was the one to look away first.”
― Jenny Han, It’s Not Summer Without You
Divination/ Journalling Prompts
*What am I clinging onto too tightly?
*How can I release?
*What labour pains am I experiencing?
*What am I birthing now?
Ritual/ Spellwork/ EveryDayMagic Suggestions
*Starting with smaller, less frightening changes/ sacrifices can be a way to ease into bigger changes. Perhaps it is time for a haircut, a change of wall colour, a different route to somewhere you go regularly.
*What we need surrounds us. What plants are growing around you now? Choose one that calls to you and get to know it. Nettle is a good teacher for this work of rebirth, if that is local to you.
*Nurturing practices like baths, naps, yin yoga – whatever makes you feel held and safe enough to release, let go, and be born anew.